Quoted from the Apple post-purchase Customer Survey that I filled out after buying an iPad 2 at their Manhattan Upper West Side store:

“That day was the fourth day that I arrived at the Apple Store at 6AM to stand in line to buy an iPad (Thurs 21st, Fri 22nd, Sat 23rd & Mon 25th). On Thursday, Friday and Saturday, after waiting for between 20 minutes – 1 hour, we were told there were no iPads that day.  This evident disconnect between the channels of distribution and Apple’s own branded retail store seems ridiculous to me.  Especially from a tech company such as Apple.  A company that tracks and reviews every song download and iPhone/iPad application proposal.  For the retail store to tell me and every other customer that they “have no idea” what they will be receiving that day is crazy.  Someone does.  Even possibly as little as two people up the supply chain.  If Apple wanted to have that information available, they (you) would.  What if a potential customer could log onto iTunes or a special Apple website at midnight the night before and find out what each store would be offering in the morning: 10 iPad 64G, 15 iPad 32G AT&T, etc.  Or none for that matter.  That way the customer wouldn’t have to waste their time getting up ridiculously early and go to the store only to find that, oops!, there are no iPads that day.  Come back tomorrow and try again!  Apple would still sell the same amount of iPads.

And please do not use the excuse that giving out this retail availability information would allow people to game the system.  The system is already being gamed.  12 of the 13 people ahead of me in line yesterday morning were Chinese.  I tweeted a photo of it if you would like to see evidence.  They all bought two iPads.  And the ones that I saw while I was waiting to purchase mine all paid in cash.  I am not sure what is going on here but I bet someone at Apple does.  Is a blind eye being turned?  The New York Times even wrote an article about it happening at the Soho store a few months ago in regards to the iPhone 4.

I am a designer and brand consultant so I understand the concept of leveraging distribution to build demand.  But if the system that is put in place to manage demand is not designed correctly, it has the potential of doing harm to the brand image.  Maybe I am alone in thinking this, but to me it does not take much thought to realize that Apple’s system of distribution and customer information is flawed.  And we the customers suffer.  If I didn’t need this iPad for a trip this week I would have never stood in line four times and be turned away three times to buy one.  I definitely won’t do it again.  I like Apple.  But I like Apple a lot less than I did before standing in line a week ago.”

I have always been a proponent of a single conceptual design thread being run through an entire brand or project.  But… not if it carries the brand into questionable territory.  Adherence to conceptual thread or not, to every rule there is an exception.  Apple has had a phenomenal run with its ‘i’ line of products.  Starting with the iMac, the introduction of the iPod made the lowercase ‘i’ at the beginning of a word an ubiquitous and immediate identifier as an Apple product.  The release of the iPhone only further spread the ‘i’ dominance.  Using the pre-fixed ‘i’ effectively claimed the word it was attached to for Apple.  And somehow signaled its ‘better-ness’.  It isn’t just a phone, it’s an ‘i’Phone.  It isn’t just a pod, it’s an ‘i’Pod.  Uh… what’s a ‘pod’?

I’ll return to that in a moment.  But the initial point is that the ‘i’ branding strategy worked (and is working) tremendously well.  The problem comes when prior success has so intoxicated a brand that it becomes blind to pitfalls in the direction that it’s own brand identity is taking it.  This is where the new iPad comes into play.  Was Apple such a slave to its line of ‘i’ products, especially the run of ‘i’ followed by a ‘P’ products, that it felt compelled to name it’s newest product ‘iPad’?  Regardless of the potential for ironic connection to feminine hygiene products?  Did Apple think that the public so expected a product with a name that started with an ‘iP’ that it would overlook such an awkward association?  It looks as though the verdict is in on that one.  Over three years ago.  And… why ‘iPad’?  Does it come with an ‘iPen’ to write on it with?  Or will that be sold seperately when iPad 2.0 is released?

I think the ‘iPad’ name is a blunder.  I am certain that it is a ground breaking product.  Jobs usually makes sure that Apple products are (though it seems kinda like a super-sized iPhone…).  And I am sure that the brand will persevere through any embarrassing associations, word-plays or parodies.  But it seems as though the naming of their new tablet device betrays a slight lack of critical thinking.  Maybe an overly robust sense of self-assurance?  There’s nothing like a long string of successes to make one soft. 

Apple obviously knew that there were ‘iPad’ jokes out there already.  Why did they go ahead with it anyway?  They could have easily used another name.  Or made up a new word.  And this is where my comment about the iPod comes in.  There was no ‘pod’ in wide public use before Apple came out with the ‘iPod’.  They essentially made up the name.  So why not do it again instead of stubbornly sticking with a word that so easily leads to blush-inducing jokes?

iPak, iPlot, iPiece, iPort, iPaper, iPlume… to name but a few.  Or, why only use the Macintosh as an apple reference?  Why not use another apple variety to name this product?  Such as iPilot, iPixie, iPorter or iPomme?  There are also many apple names that begin with letters other than ‘P’ that could be explored.   I could go on… 

My point is that I think choosing the name ‘iPad’ was too easy.  And too fraught with awkwardness.  If they had put their thinking iCaps on I bet Apple could have come up with a much better name.  And avoided the weirdness.  I guess even an A+ brand like Apple can’t get everything right all the time.  Not to mention, now that I look at the images of the iPad, that the black border around the screen is awfully wide.  Or that there’s no camera.  Or that it doesn’t support Flash.  (BTW – why would Apple worry about keeping the price at $500?  To compete with netbooks?  Please.  Wasn’t the first iPhone priced at $499 or something crazy like that?  The zombies still lined up.  Is this rush to market at a low price cap a sign of Apple weakness?)  Maybe I’ll wait until the second or third version of the iPad before I rush out and buy one.  Besides… Apple has to work out the issue of AT&T’s pathetic coverage, even in New York City, before I am going to sign onto another contract for another device.  Or they will loose me to Verizon.  And Google.

With the launch of the much anticipated Windows 7 (’much aniticpated’ as one might anticipate an audit) Microsoft has come up with the idea of users hosting Windows 7 ‘parties’.  Such a sexy cool viral idea!  … right.  To get people really excited about this they have released a series of Youtube videos with tips on how to host one of these parties.  And, I must admit, it got me excited.  Excited about looking into switching over to Apple products.

This Windows 7 marketing campaign is so excruciatingly lame, it makes me wonder if Microsoft has been vehemently insular for so long that it has lost complete touch with the reality of the cultural landscape.  Just about every piece of dialogue, set prop, cultural marker and relationship subtext in the videos feels so contrived, plastic and culturally false that it made me stop and wonder.  What if it is actually some sort of subtle ironic spoof-trap-thing that the Microsoft marketing managers are slyly leading everyone into before they turn on the lights and laugh and laugh?  But then I caught myself.  No way they are that clever.  Vista has killed the notion that Microsoft can respond to the market in any sort of way that would be considered ‘clever’.  It is just a sad fact that the marketing campaign, and its execution, is very bad.  Take the combination of actors for example.  It seems obvious to me that the video’s producers were trying to show a mix of characters so that at least one of them would resonate with the various audience segments that would watch it.  But what happens is that the characters association with each other causes them to loose a sense of reality.  Which then leads to their loss of credibility with their target audiences.  The result is that they are reduced to mere cliches.  Which just hurts everybody.  I won’t even begin to get into the setting.  Balloons tied to the counter (nothing says ‘party’ like balloons!).  Everyone helping move things to the island (and chipping in with something helpful to say!).  Lousy kitchen (with wrought iron fruit stand!).  There is nothing that feels ‘authentic’ about it.

This latest Windows advertising blunder makes me think that there must be only one management team at Microsoft.  In past years they were focused on acquisitions, squashing competitors or figuring out how to outmaneuver Google, and they forgot to keep an eye on the clunky Vista product.  Since that has landed with a thud they have dropped everything to focus on Windows 7, taking their eye off of how to correctly market it to an increasingly Windows-sceptical consumer.  It is even more peculiar to me that Apple has been beating on Windows with its very successful ‘I’m a Mac’ add campaign for some time – so Microsoft should be able to identify what resonates with the general consumer public.  If only because they have been the target.  But this new ‘Windows 7 party’ idea is all that Microsoft could come up with as a counter.  Of course people will say that the ‘I’m a PC’ campaign with the cute little girl was the answer to Apple’s adds.  But that campaign lasted all of about ten minutes.  And the second round of commercials was nowhere near as good as the first.  So it died out quickly.  And Apple continues to come up with new campaign angles.  I had hoped that Microsoft would have learned from this a long time ago and made some big changes with big new directions.  But it has not happened.

Overall, I think Microsoft products and their add campaigns have combined to make the public turn away from PCs.  The fact that Vista was installed on many new laptops has made me hold off on buying one.  That can’t make manufacturers happy to hear.  And now, with this new campaign for Windows 7, I question whether Microsoft has any understanding at all of the people that they would like to be their customers.  Obviously it seems they have surrendered all the cool consumers to Apple.  So as a PC user is that what I am?  A soul-less suburban-dwelling automaton?  Yikes.  Sounds like what I have been running from all of my adult life.  Makes me want to reach for a piece of fruit on that fruit stand… is that an apple?  Oh, wait.  Those are lemons up there.  Unfortunately fitting symbol for a Windows add?